-SCA event was a lot of fun. Joe is the archery marshal for the event in February.

-Visited the cemetery in Lake City two weeks ago and saw the resting place of my grandfather's parents and family. I had never been and I was glad to be able to pay my respects.

-Thanksgiving was enjoyable. We actually managed to get in a two mile hike before dinner and found four geocaches.

-We passed our 200th find this past weekend and have hidden seven of our own now.

-With all the extra activity, I'm losing weight again. I'm down 5 lbs this morning.

-Kerie called. Her due date is July 4th.

-Went out to the cemetery this morning to put out the holiday memorial items and ran into a family member that I haven't seen in years. She is also a family historian so we talked quite a bit and I'm mailing her the family history and photo disc that I made last year.

-Found a cache beside the river next to the cemetery. Did a maintenance check on our cache in LaCrosse.

-Finished the holiday shopping for my extended family. On time and on budget for the rest of the shopping.

-Good Eats: Twas the Night Before Good Eats was awesome! I know what I'm cooking for the holiday.

Oh yeah and the stoic thought on which I've been meditating is...

"The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach." -Pliny the Elder

Nice to be firmly on the upswing. I see good things ahead.

*Halloween was enjoyable. Finally met Jen and Kyle. had an all out silly string war inside and outside of the truck while trick-or-treating.
*Linda gave me credit for my old bows so I was able to order a new left-hand 40# Martin Venom Longbow.
*We love our Garmin eTrex Venture HC Handheld GPS unit. It has already saved us getting lost in Osceola National Forest.
*We get up early in the morning before Joe has to leave for work so we can geocache. Our coolest search so far was the old caboose behind City Hall in High Springs. We've visited so many cool places while caching. Ocean Pond was gorgeous.
*Only one more week shooting archery and then we start working on arrows.
*I'm glad that goecaching will fill the winter months since the archery season is coming to an end.
*We've published two caches and submitted two more this morning.
*We have an SCA event tomorrow
*Kerie moved back home yesterday. She doesn't want to be in that relationship anymore which is more than likely for the best. Joe and I are supportive but also stepping back, finding that healthy balance for all of us.
* I have some significant recovery milestones coming up too. I'm proud of myself for dealing with all of these life changes and finding balance without falling back on past unhealthy ways of coping.
*I'm also very fortunate. This recent event reminded me that we am surrounded by supportive and loving friends and family.

I continue to find balance and comfort in stoic philosophy. I've been reading "Stoic Letters - Book One" by Seneca. I particularly like Epistle VIII - On Groundless Fears...

"There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. I am not speaking with you in the Stoic strain but in my milder style. For it is our Stoic fashion to speak of all those things, which provoke cries and groans, as unimportant and beneath notice; but you and I must drop such great sounding words, although, heaven knows, they are true enough. What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes; since it may be that the dangers before which you paled as if they were threatening you, will never come upon you; they certainly have not yet come. Accordingly, some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow. "

"Let us, then, look carefully into the matter. It is likely that some troubles will befall us; but it is not a present fact. How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never come to pass! And even though it is ordained to be, what does it avail to run out to meet your suffering? You will suffer soon enough, when it arrives; so look forward meanwhile to better things. What shall you gain by doing this? Time. There will be many happenings meanwhile which will serve to postpone, or end, or pass on to another person, the trials which are near or even in your very presence. A fire has opened the way to flight. Men have been let down softly by a catastrophe. Sometimes the sword has been checked even at the victim's throat. Men have survived their own executioners. Even bad fortune is fickle. Perhaps it will come, perhaps not; in the meantime it is not. So look forward to better things. "

I don't think that anything tests the fit of a person's system of beliefs like an unexpected turn of events or a personal loss. In this past month I have experienced loss and uncertainty. Now, that I am settling from shock and upset into acceptance, I see that this has become another opportunity for growth and learning.

My adult daughter has made choices for her life that I may not agree with but it is her life to live as she chooses.  My adult daughter has told me that she is pregnant, that it is her choice and her responsibility. She has already been to the doctor. I talked with her, gave her advice and made sure that she is aware of her options and she has asked me not to worry. So, I will not go into further detail as this is not the subject of this entry. It has taken time for me to process my feelings but I am stepping back into a place of calm and reason.

Something like this tends to lay a person open, stripping away the fallacies, exposing who they are and what they truly believe. In the past, I would have dealt with this kind of pain and fear with alcohol or a cigarette but I no longer drink or smoke. In the past, I would have prayed and fretted, trying to bargain with god but I no longer use religion as an addiction or crutch either. In the past, I have explored religion looking for answers, strength and comfort but only found more questions and discomfort. Out of everything that I have ever explored or learned the only true comfort this past month has been my divine given reason, my strength, and my own discipline to control my thoughts and my actions. When I was so afraid because I didn't know what tomorrow would bring it was a quote by a stoic philosopher that brought me the greatest comfort of all.

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." -Marcus Aurelius

Does that make me a heathen, a christian, enlightened, deluded, foolish, wise? That is a rhetorical question because it doesn't matter. Labels no longer interest me. All that interests me is continuing to live this life to the best of my ability. I believe in the betterment of the individual, the family and society. This betterment comes about from knowledge and understanding and through our own confidence and ability to do what is right. This life is important and meant to be lived and lived well. In order to live well and effect positive changes I will continue to focus on living life with courage, truth, honor, fairness, discipline, peace of mind, industriousness, self-reliance, and perseverance. That is who I am, what I've got and the best that I can give. And you know what? I'm good with that.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." -Marcus Aurelius

Thank you for all the kind thoughts about Zuzu. I miss my little guy but it's better this week. Mina is doing well. We've been giving her extra attention so she isn't lonely.

Called and wished my daughter a happy 18th birthday today. =)

After a stressful couple of weeks, we needed time off to unwind this past weekend so we decided to try out geocaching. Our first find was less than a mile from our house and once we found it we were hooked. We found 14 caches this past weekend which led us to some really cool places, some of which we never even knew existed like a ballpark beside our house and the gorgeous Mill Creek Preserve. We don't have a hand-held GPS yet so we've been locating the cache hides using the satalite maps of Mapquest and Bing. Hannah, Joe and I enjoy the thrill of the hunt and makes for great family time together. The best thing about geocaching is it combines so many of our interests, research and planning, learning about local history, discovering new places, hiking and nature walking, and collecting swag. It is great exercise too.

The vet put Zuzu to sleep this morning. The tumors had grown so much in the last six months. The vet recently lost her ferret to the same condition. I wanted so much to have Zuzu cremated but I could not afford that with everything else so we buried him in his favorite blanket with his beloved stuffed cat. He is beside Gateway, my precious cat that I lost not even a year ago. This has been so painful but I don't regret the time that I had with Zuzu. I loved him a great deal and I will miss him terribly.

--I enjoyed going to Idaho with Shauna. I'm so grateful she asked me to go with her. I think my favorite part was talking around the table in the evening with Shauna and her Mom. I did a lot of walking and thinking too which was good for me. In the last year I have come to realize just how much I love Florida. I love visiting other places but when I'm away I miss my home like I miss a family member. That is really good. I used to not feel much of a connection to anything. I'm comfortable in my own skin and in my own space and that makes me comfortable exploring other places and connecting with other people. Oh yeah and the Cougar Bay area  in Coeur d'Alene is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen. We visited Harrison last trip and it was really pretty but if I were going to live in Idaho, I would like to live in Coeur d'Alene.

--Joe is so awesome. While I was away, he cleaned and landscaped the entire yard, organized the garage and he kept the house clean too. I'm very impressed. I loved coming back and seeing him. It is always so exciting after we've been apart to see each other again. I couldn't wait to get home and snuggle up with him on the couch and watch TV but I was so tired from traveling that I fell asleep after 15 minutes. LOL.

--We went to "Road to War" (the SCA event in Anthony) yesterday. It was a lot of fun. I hadn't shot archery in two weeks and I got my fix. They asked that we bring the medival critter (pendulum target) out to play so we did and I finally got to shoot at it for real. Joe was so funny. He shot out the support stick to start it swinging and then he shot at the target. We had several other novelty shoots, a clout shoot, and we did a royal round. Joe had top score for the Royal Round and was awarded in court. I was already "naked" so I chose to skip court and load the truck. Linda and I chatted a lot throughout the day but while we were loading up Linda and I had a chance to really catch up. We have another event in two weeks. I really enjoy events now and being an SCA archer.

--Today, I made some changes to the ferret cage. I made a better ramp and added polar fleece blankets and extra water bottles to each level for Zuzu. The daily supplement feedings are going well too. It breaks my heart that he has insulinoma but we're taking it a day at a time. Talking about it makes me sad though so I'm not going to go into detail.

--We planted some beautiful flowers today in the front bed. Mums, dianthis and another name I forget. I also got Hannah some Halloween decorations for outside. It was only a couple of dollars for the little yard ghosts but they are so cute. We put the little ghosts in the flower beds and set our pumpkins out by the front door and hung up our skull and crossbones windsock.

--Kerie turns 18 in 15 days. She starts work at her new job on Tuesday. She is in and out a lot but at least she lives here again. I like having her home.

--Hannah is writing a book that she hopes to make into a movie one day. When Hannah grows up she wants to be a photographer, an artist and a zoologist and have her own zoo. I love it and that would work out perfectly. She can take stock photos of her animals and use those for her drawings. After her schoolwork each day, Hannah works on her art and her book without any prompting from me. I love it that she is so creative.

I know I'm forgetting stuff but I'll have to leave it for another day.

I leave for Idaho in a couple of days. Hee. I'm very excited but it has really snuck up on me. Um, yeah. I should probably pack. I'm not completely disorganized though. I got my haircut today. It was so much fun. The stylist and I started talking about Johnny Depp which led to much drool and her mentioning the Jack Sparrow look a-like at the medieval faire so I told her I knew exactly who she was talking about and how I worked the archery booth and we got into this whole glorious geek session, oh and I got a great haircut. She showed me the pics on her phone that she took at the faire. I love my new stylist, Melinda. 

I also remembered to get my travel bottles for my shampoo and other such items. Oh yeah, and the cutest bag for my carry-on, on sale, pink and purple and black plaid. I'm on a budget so I refrained buying more shoes. I couldn't resist getting some minicci no show socks with little skulls and crossbones that  will save me going barefoot on the floor when I go through security and have to remove my favorite flats.

We're back from our overnight at the cabin. We celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary yesterday and it was so wonderful. The cabins at Gold Head Branch are awesome and fully equipped. All we had to bring is our food and change of clothes. We had the whole place to ourselves too. I loved sitting on the screened porch and staring at the lake. In the evening, before dinner, we walked down to the swimming area and waded. The bream followed us around. It was so funny. Joe grilled while I cooked a couple of side dishes. I baked brownies in the oven for dessert. We ate outside, at the picnic table, beside the fire. We had a couple of tenacious raccoons that visited us while we sat on the porch watching the fire. I'm glad that we had a latch on the screen door. We woke up early so we could watch the sun come up this morning. It was cool. We saw deer and we could hear hawks calling. After breakfast, we went to the ravine and waded in the creek. It was so peaceful. Hannah had a wonderful time. I couldn't have asked for a better anniversary.

How is it September already? I've been so busy but in a really enjoyable way.

School is in full swing and we are really enjoying the online classes. Hannah is doing a great job with her school work and guess what? She shares my interest in art. She has been learning to draw and she has a talent for it. She has created the cutest characters, winged ferrets called Nospers. She is making a comic with a winged ferret named Mason and a dragon and she already has four parts written. It is so creative. Yesterday, we went and bought her an art box, drawing pencils of different values, erasures, smudge implements and another art instruction book. She is self taught but asks me for advice and information and I stand back and enjoy watching her grow. It is very cool!

Kerie, is enjoying being on her own. It was hard for me when she first moved out. The place she is renting with three older friends was originally five minutes from where she worked so I agreed to let her move out a couple of months early but her job let her go Saturday because they had too many people on the schedule and she was the newest employee. I wish this hadn't happened because she is a hard worker and really liked her job but this is a valuable life lesson for her. She is searching for another job and I have no doubt that she will find work. Of course, she is welcome to move back home if she wishes.

This is a busy month in the best sense of the word. I've already had the SCA hunt this past weekend. Next week we spend the night in rustic cabin to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary and then the following week I go to Idaho with songdancer and Miss Katherine. Very exciting!

Oh and Joe bought me an MP3 player last week. I said we can't afford it and he said yes we can, that I never buy anything for myself and Best Buy was having a sale so he bought me an 8GB Sansa Fuze with the USB wall charger and sport arm band for $119. I love it. It has an expansion slot so I can add a memory card or slot radio. Now, I can take my music with me and I'm not tethered to the computer.

OK, I'm not caught up but at least I got an entry written. ;)

Remember how I was to design the King's Hunt for Fall Coronation? I'm happy to say that the the moving target design worked beautifully and the hunt was a complete success. I'm relieved that the shoot went well and everyone had a good time. We got some very nice feedback and compliments. It was suggested that we bring the target out again for one of the upcoming shoots.

Here's more about what I did for the hunt... The King's Hunt, Fall coronation 2009

We've had the busiest weekend.

We went to the FAA FITA championship at the new Regional Archery Center. The shoot took place both Saturday and Sunday and was hosted by the NADA (National Alliance for the Development of Archery). We went to spectate and cheer on Helen and Linda. I think Robert, Joe, Hannah and I made a pretty good cheering section and it was an amazing shoot to watch. Helen did a great job. She and Linda were the only traditional longbow archers shooting wood arrows. Most of the field had compound or Olympic bows with stabilizers, sights, and carbon arrows. Helen did a great job and won her division and set records. There were quite a few champions and a future Olympian shooting. After the championship, the NADA rep and coach to the future Olympian gave us a informal class on the Biomechanic Efficiency Shooting Technique developed by Dr. Lee. We learned so much. I came home and practiced and I can see and feel a difference.

Yesterday after the championship, we went to Pickets to look around then to three hardware stores. I bought seeds for my fall garden and paint I need to finish up my target for Fall Coronation in two weeks. I practiced archery, then went and had a waiver notarized for the teen so she could get her naval pierced. We also re-tipped my arrows.

Today after the championship and informal class, we came home and then took Miss Hannah to Rum Island for about an hour to swim. The cold water felt great! Then I came home and practiced the archery technique for about an hour and I'm very pleased with the results.

All in all, you could say that we have had a full weekend. It has been a blast though and I met some awesome people. =)

Quick before it changes... LOL. Look! Trimaris is currently in third place in the IKAC standings. Joe (Jochi), Helen (Guenhwyver) and your truly (Æsa) are right there together but  we've got a way to go to get into second. Our group is shooting quite respectably. In the Open Bow List for all of the SCA, me, Helen, Joe and Linda occupy 10, 11, 12 and 13th place. Go us!

I got a haircut today. The long straight look was not working for me. I kept my hair in a pony tail all of the time and I wanted a cut that would let me play with my hair some but keep it out of the way of the bow string. I went for a short and choppy shag and I LOVE it. The pics don't show it off as well as I'd like but I can wear the bangs long or tuck them back or I can spike the layers. It was still a bit wet but here's some pics. *CLICK*

I finished Joe's archery ranger belt token. This piece is white embroidery floss on black linen. The triskele and the arrow together came out to 11 inches. This was the biggest piece of embroidery that I have ever attempted and I'm happy with how it turned out. I'm especially proud because I drew the design out freehand. Drawing a triskele... not easy. I love the split stitch. Here a link to the scan. While I was scanning I also scanned one of the boars from my Jorvik cap also done in split stitch. I can see where I've improved since doing the boar embroidery. I love embroidery, even more than drawing. I would like to find a way to use it as a creative expression for my artwork. *gears turning*

Saturday, a group of us went over to help Red move. She's on the third floor so it was up and down three flights of stairs to move her to the next building, ground level. All was going well until I missed a step (couldn't see around the box I was carrying) and fell down a couple of steps. I rolled my ankle and messed up my foot pretty good. It's not too bad now but it is colorful. At least I didn't break anything. I was able to stay and continue to help with the move. About an hour later, Joe did the same thing on the same step and rolled his ankle and busted his lip open. Again, it's not too bad now but it sucked at the time. Going up and down three flights of stairs with heavy boxes repeatedly and eventually, statistically the odds will be against you. We are ok. I bit sore but no big deal. We can still shoot a bow so it's all good. :D On a side note, the up down three flights of stairs repeatedly was not that bad. I'm glad that we're ex-smokers. LOL!

I've been making Joe's Ranger Token. According to the Weapon's Handbook... All Target Archery Marshals while running a shoot will wear a token signifying their position on the range. The design for these tokens shall be a black band 3 to 6 inches wide (either a baldric or worn on the belt), emblazoned with a white arrow, point up, and a white Triskele above the point. So, I've embroidered the white triskele and arrow onto a band of black linen. The embroidery turned out so well. Joe was impressed. I really enjoyed making it for him too. I'll have to post a pic when I've finished sewing the lining and belt loop.

I have a couple of new garb projects to work on for Joe. There are quite a few events coming up and he needs new garb.

Did I mention I submitted my SCA name and device paper work back in July? It will be months before I find out if it gets approved so I figure better get the wheels turning. The name should go through fine but the device is usually always a nightmare. *fingers crossed*

Went to Manatee Springs today and it was a gorgeous day. The weather was perfect and the water cold and refreshing. I enjoyed swimming. There was a damselfly that sat on my shoulder and forehead while I was in the boil. It was the cutest thing.

What else? Oh yeah. You ever go back and look at early entries in your LJ? I've had this LJ since 2003 and when I first started writing it was for very different reasons than why I write now. LJ used to be my social outlet and the place I wrote about my issues and struggles to gain support and approval. I had zero self esteem. Some early journal entries I don't even recognize anymore. Some of those entries... man. I was in so much pain. It blows my mind looking back. Back then I never thought that I'd become a strong, confident woman, comfortable in my own skin with wonderful friends and a good family and it blows my mind to realize here I am. When I see where I used to be... wow.

Shauna, I can't thank you enough for turning me on to stevia. I'm enjoying sweetened ice tea again. I have a cabinet full of teas and so far I have enjoyed African Red Bush herbal tea, Chai Green Tea, Southern Iced Tea and Green Tea. =)

We went over to visit Linda and Mar today. Mar brought Joe's papers and he was able to get them filled out, signed and witnessed. Joe is Officially a Ranger (target archery marshal). Whoo hoo! I also got to tell Mar about the pendulum target we made for the King's hunt in September.  I don't think I've mentioned that here. I wanted a moving target for the hunt so we came up with a design that swings side to side for 30 seconds. I'll copy an appropriate beast from a historic illumination for the target face. I'll get pics up. I have a couple of target face options to test. Linda offered some black foam that I hope will hold the arrows. In other archery news, our Kingdom is currently in third place in the open division. We have never placed that high before. Trying to advance our kingdom has given us all focus and our scores continue to improve. Last week, I scored my highest IKAC ever, a 222. We still have several months to improve. Wouldn't it be fantastic if Trimaris could finish this season in the top three?

The Google page is very cool today. =)

I have the house all to myself right now. Joe went to spot his Dad for a couple of hours and Kerie took Hannah to hang out for a little while. Her idea. That is really nice to see. Normally I'd be bummed that Joe had to leave on the weekend but Katie called and we got a chance to catch up which was really nice. I think it is going to be a lazy Sunday today. I'm hoping to shoot archery for a while and then start working on some ideas for artwork that I want to do. Do I even own a drawing pencil anymore? Probably not. I'm need to get that sorted out.

We met K&S and B to see the new Harry Potter movie today. The movie was good, the company even better. First, lunch at Chilis and much catching up. The Guiltless cedar plank grilled tilapia is excellent btw. Then perusing Best Buy which is always entertaining and more catching up. I think I found the MP3 player I want to get. Kerie got off work and we met her at the theater. It was such a nice outing. SO much fun. =)